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Paraprosdokian sentences—my literary lesson for the week. (Thanks to Dad for forwarding this email, which is making the rounds.)

A paraprosdokian (from Greek meaning “beyond expectation’) is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.  Read more... (590 words, estimated 2:22 mins reading time)

• I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

I enjoyed Ed Hasbroucks’s recent article on the intricacies of learning a foreign language. Here are a couple of excerpts:

“We tend to think of the problem of understanding a foreign language in terms of “knowing what the words” (or maybe sentences) mean. But If that were true, all we would need anywhere would be a phrase book. Anyone who’s
ever tried, and failed, to use a phrase book to communicate in a completely unknown language has quickly realized that there are multiple layers of coding that one must master before one can look up a foreign word in a dictionary or phrase book.

“One layer down in a spoken language, which groups of sounds or syllables  Read more... (283 words, estimated 1:08 mins reading time)

If you need to write using UK spellings, here’s a good resource.

Thanks to Michael Shapiro for the link to UnnecessaryQuotes.com, a delightfully satisfying site that provides a “Wall of Shame” for unnecessary (if exuberant) use of quotation marks.

Thanks to April Orcutt for forwarding this article from the Huffington Post. It was posted by Andy Borowitz on November 18.

Obama’s  Use of Complete Sentences Stirs Controversy: Stunning Break with Last Eight Years

In the first two weeks since the election, President-elect Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the past eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.

Millions of Americans who watched Mr. Obama’s appearance on CBS’ “60 Minutes” on Sunday witnessed the president-elect’s unorthodox verbal tick, which had Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opened his mouth.  Read more... (296 words, estimated 1:11 mins reading time)

Thanks to April Orcutt for sending this link to the Times Grammar Blog.

A recent post discussed correct usage of the term, “begs the question” (hint: it is not equivalent to “raises the question”) and includes a link to the website BegTheQuestion.info, where you can order BTQ T-shirts and mugs, as well as business cards to hand out to people who misuse the term. (They begin: Oops! You used the phrase “begs the question” in an improper manner!) “Drop one in the offering plate at church after a pastor’s BTQ-laden sermon, send them to the newscaster or advertising copywriter in your life, or hand them to the president after his inaugural speech. (If Secret Service lets you, that is.) Just remember: these cards are meant to discreetly inform them of BTQ abuse, but they are no substitute for candor and respect.”

“WARNING” the site reads. “This game may make you smarter. It may improve your speaking, writing, thinking, grades, job performance… ” The oh-so-addictive-and-good-for-you-too vocabulary game works like this:  Read more... (119 words, estimated 29 secs reading time)

• You’re presented with a word.
• You click on the answer that best defines the word.
• If you get it right, you get a harder word. If wrong, you get an easier word.
• For each word you get right, FreeRice donates 20 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program.

Thanks to April Orcutt for sending the link to this clever site that will surely help you move quickly through writers’ block. She reports, “Newsweek said it lets you send “snarky” messages.”

And the winner of the Merriam-Webster Word of the Year for 2007 is: w00t. What, you say? According to the Merriam-Webster website:

w00t (interjection)
expressing joy (it could be after a triumph, or for no reason at all); similar in use to the word “yay”

Check out the website for the rest of the Top 10.

Reprinted with permission from “The Book Marketing Expert newsletter,” a free ezine offering book promotion and publicity tips and techniques. http://www.amarketingexpert.com

Thanks to Michael Shapiro for sending this link to a New York Times article about the demise of the English hyphen:

By Charles McGrath

THE Shorter Oxford English Dictionary, the scaled-down, two-volume version of the mammoth 20-volume O.E.D., just got a little shorter. With the dispatch of a waiter flicking away flyspecks, the editor, Angus Stevenson, eliminated some 16,000 hyphens from the sixth edition, published last month. “People are not confident about using hyphens anymore,” he said. “They’re not really sure what they’re for.”

The dictionary is not dropping all hyphens. The ones in certain compounds remain (“well-being,” for example), as do those indicating a word break at the right-hand margin the use for which this versatile little punctuation mark, a variation on the slash, the all-purpose medieval punctuation, was invented in the first place.

What’s getting the heave are  Read more... (851 words, estimated 3:24 mins reading time)

Who thinks this stuff up, anyway?

1. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. Thus we’ll never know for whom the Tells Bowled.

2. A man rushed into a busy doctor’s office and shouted “Doctor! Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!” The doctor calmly responded, “Now, settle down. You’ll just have to be a little patient.”

3. A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day  Read more... (557 words, estimated 2:14 mins reading time)

And if you liked drachenfutter, you won’t want to miss heinzelmaennchen. (No, it is not a large house covered in ketchup.) Thanks to Leslie Rose and Katrin Mueller for the link.

A Constrained Vision, a blog with “Thoughts on economics, education, politics, and other stuff from a recent-ish graduate of Duke University now living in Washington, DC,” directs us to William Safire’s invitation to enjoy such words as mishpoche, schadenfreude, and drachenfutter.

Thanks to April Orcutt for the link to Language Log, a site for language lovers.

Michael Erard writes about it on June 20, 2006, for the New York Times Science Desk: “Serious linguistic scholars don’t usually write about talking dogs and street signs — not for publication, anyway. But that is what they do on Language Log, a funny, wide-ranging blog that provides up-to-the-minute linguistic commentary written for a wider audience. Now three years old….”

Sometimes writers stretching for the lyrical founder on infelicities. They may come up with combinations that just don’t jibe, like a description of a cybergang member whose eyes were ‘black as blueberries.’ (Since when are blueberries black?) David Mamet, in Make Believe Town, mocks screenwriters who gush, ‘She has a pair of eyes that makes you think of olives in a plate of milk.’ Bet you wouldn’t want to taste a combo of olives and milk. Who would want to behold it?  Read more... (241 words, estimated 58 secs reading time)

Thanks to Kathryn Abajian for elucidating floccinaucinihilipilification: My OED says…it means your second definition: The action or habit of estimating as worthless, as in the 1746 entry: “I loved him for nothing so much as his floccinaucinihilipilification of money.” Now if I could just figure out how to pronounce it.

“Floccinoccinihilipilification” is my new biggest-word-I-ever-heard. Well, I haven’t actually heard the word, but I’ve heard of it, thanks to a recent e-mail from my mom. Actually, it’s one letter shorter than antidisestablishmentarianism, but floccinoccinihilipilification is a much more useful word than antidisestablishmentarianism. It means either “seeing meaning in everything, even when there isn’t any,” (according to my mother) or “the act or habit of considering things useless” (www; unattributed). Please let me know if you have a definitive definition. (I don’t subscribe to the OED online.)

And in searching for the definition, I can across “hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia,” which means fear of long words. Ironic?

Thanks to Suzanne Stewart for telling me about copyediting a listserve “for copy editors and other defenders of the English language who want to discuss anything related to editing: Sticky style issues; philosophy of editing; newspaper, technical, and other specialized editing; reference books; client relations; Internet resources; electronic editing and software; freelance issues; and so on. Carol Roberts started the list at Cornell University in December 1992 and passed ownership of the list to Beth Goelzer Lyons. Bill Blinn and Jane Lyle are the current list owners.”

Thanks to April Orcutt for forwarding this:

The Washington Post’s Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year’s winners.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.  Read more... (260 words, estimated 1:02 mins reading time)

In the interest of taking small steps towards peace, I offer a link to what looks like an important book. I haven’t read it yet, but look what others have to say about it (on Amazon.com’s review section):

“Her theory that we need to ‘take the war out of our words’ before we can achieve peace at home and in the world, to me, seems like an obvious but brilliant perception. She seems very dedicated to spreading this message and educating people. I think she does an excellent job. This is the kind of stuff I wish we were learning in our schools! Great read.”  Read more... (152 words, estimated 36 secs reading time)

Thanks to April Orcutt for sending these silly signs. April says, “While I doubt that these are real signs, they are fun in the grammar-punctuation way of “Panda eats, shoots and leaves.”

In an office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. . . PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

In a laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.  Read more... (216 words, estimated 52 secs reading time)

Sunday, August 22 was National Punctuaton Day! If you didn’t celebrate, it’s not too late. Resolve today to erradicate an errant apostrophe, commend the common comma, hype a hyphen — whatever you feel is appropriate. (And no, my browser does not support em-dashes.)

You might also want to stop in at local writer Jane Straus’ grammarbook.com, a site which promises to “reveal to you the mysteries of grammar and punctuation.”

Ten years old and still a fun read:
How I Met My Wife, by Jack Winter, Published July 25, 1994 in the New Yorker

It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate. I was furling my wieldly umbrella for the coat check when I saw her standing alone in a corner. She was a descript person, a woman in a state of total array. Her hair was kempt, her clothing shevelled, and she moved in a gainly way.  Read more... (503 words, estimated 2:01 mins reading time)

You may have seen these 26 definitions on the Internet. I’m passing them along in the interest of helping us all stay up to date on ever-changing technical terminology. Thanks to Chris Lunn for forwarding them; author unknown.

1. Assmosis – The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.

2. Blamestorming – Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

3. Seagull Manager – A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything, and then leaves.  Read more... (650 words, estimated 2:36 mins reading time)

Thanks to Bill Zarchy for sending the link to this funny story “Ladle Rat Rotten Hut” (Little Red Riding Hood), written by Prof. H. L. Chace of Miami University in Oxford, Ohio to demonstrate the importance of intonation. It’s written with real English words, but they aren’t the “correct” ones. Chase wrote it in the early 1940s “in the days of rationing during the war and I thought about what would happen if we had to ration language. If our vocabulary were cut in half, we’d have to get along with other words.”

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